28.6.09
29.3.09
How you can love me, how can I love you?
It is a Christian book and I remember lots of people reading it when I was in US a few years ago.Anyways today I discovered that at the end of book is a test to discover your Love language.
According to the book there are 5 love languages that communicate love to us. Of course it goes for romantic love, but also love between family members, friends, church members or whoever around us. After all it is one of the biggest commandments of Jesus after loving God to love other people. I have been puzzled about loving other people and how can we really do that for months now. Maybe it is because many times I discover I am not always a loving person and sometimes I even think it takes too much to completely to love somebody!
But God loves us completely, because he sent his only son to die for our sins. So how can I love more? Even just the person next to me? How can I make the other person feel loved even in the midst of life difficulties? How can I love somebody consciously - THAT MEANS - every step that I take, every move that I make, every decision I make and every word that I say - I do it out of love? And not the way I THINK the person wants me to love him/her, but the way he/she NEEDS to be loved?
JESUS KNEW HOW TO APPROACH INDIVIDUALS!
Now back to the book! The book describes the 5 love languages and they are:
- Words of Affirmation (Encouragement);
- Quality time (both talking and doing something together);
- Receiving gifts;
- Acts of service;
- Physical touch (not only sexual).
Well, I did the test and my results are as I thought that the biggest love languages for me are Physical touch (11 points) and Quality time (8 points). The far off are: Words of affirmation (5 points), Receiving gifts (4 points) and finally Acts of service (2 points).
It’s amazing, because it is totally the way things are with me and people who have loved me the way I need to be loved, the way God has created me to be, the Piret I am, have more success with finding my love, approval, friendship and those people are very dear to my heart.
I tell you something to prove that. There have been 4 people in my life that have succeeded to win my heart by hugging me - my father, missionaries Mel and Mary Lou and my ex-boyfriend Romain.
From my childhood I had very special relationship with my father. Even though, he was not Christian, I loved him unconditionally and I was his favorite child. One thing that worked well between us that we hugged a lot. I will always remember and cherish the times when he came home from work, came to greet me and then hugged me. I don’t remember much talking to him about my heart matters, my wishes or whatever, but I always remember hugging him and being hugged by him and feeling safe. I am pretty sure it is something that made us very close besides the fact that we were very similar and my toes look exactly like his :). And I feel huge GRATITUDE for the closeness and hugs!
The other 2 people that totally won my heart were Mel and Mary Lou, missionaries from US who lived in Estonia for 7 years. Now they were a couple over 70-s and I think I spent the most of my time with them in Bible Studies, talking (mostly about spiritual and personal matters), eating, doing fun stuff and experiencing the true fellowship. They won my heart by spending a lot of time with me talking and listening. They were my mentors in Christ and spirit mates :). Having them in my life has taught me to be 100% honest and share my emotions and feelings. I always felt free to do that and I never had to feel ashamed or embarrassed. They loved me the way Christ did and the way many girls dream their husbands would - THEY LOVED ME JUST AS I AM! They were good listeners. Actually they were the grandparents I never had, the only ones that were there for me with no expectations in return! They just came to Estonia, loved and served me! Wow, am I not blessed? And those hug...ah every time I met them or we said goodbye, we hugged and they gave me a kiss on my cheek! I even remember their faces when they did it and I will always remember those quality times and the physical and spiritual closeness we had. I DID FEEL GREATLY LOVED BY THEM!
The third person who made me feel loved was my ex-boyfriend. Now that was different kind of love, not parent-child love or friend-friend love like I described above, but it was girlfriend-boyfriend potential husband-wife love, romantic love. Now I think I don’t have to explain what this kind of relationship means, but I can tell you one thing - it is very hard to have the biggest love language, the primary way you feel loved physical touch yet as Christian have some restrictions on that. It takes a lot of spiritual discipline and TRUST in God, that the way he has planned the thing to be, IS THE BEST WAY for me! But I can tell you this - I really enjoyed watching TV and just sitting close to him, having my head on his shoulder and just having him close. I enjoyed travelling with him, doing sports, visiting people, organizing camps, volunteering and just spending quality time, chatting and talking about serious things. Talking on phone. I was calling to FRANCE for almost 4, 5 years! Can you imagine what fortune I spent on that? And him too!!! But he definitely taught me how to love a man and how to be loved as a woman! And I did love him deeply and he loved me deeply! It’s interesting, that today we both can say - I HAVE BEEN LOVED and we have no doubt about it. What is also interesting - HE TAUGHT ME TO LOVE HIS COUNTRY AND NATION! Today I am definitely fan No 1 of France and people must be tired of me talking all the time about how things are in France...well, people must be tired too that I always tell how much I learned from this relationship. And I am grateful for that.
Today I don’t have those people in my life anymore. My father died 9 years ago, Mel died last October, Mary Lou moved back to US and I and Romain broke up. But today I can say - I HAVE BEEN LOVED, because they loved me the way I needed to be loved without even knowing that they did. I am quite sure that they did not love me this way because they knew the theory. Maybe they knew that this was what I needed, but they loved me naturally. Isn`t it amazing, that God knows our needs and he puts people in our life to fulfill the need?
Today I have the rest of my family, friends and people I know, people love me and that need me to be there and fulfill their need for love. People that so desperately need to know and feel secure in the knowledge that they as well are loved unconditionally.
Isn`t it amazing that when you want to love the others the way they need to be loved, the only one who can help you do that is GOD? Isn`t it amazing, that even when you feel loved and you love the others the way they need to be loved, that you realize that it is never enough? That actually God himself, the one WHO IS LOVE and who SO LOVED THE WORLD....is THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ENOUGH???? Isn`t it exciting, magical if you would and wonderful??? Ahhh, that’s just amazing and beautiful!
And isn`t it interesting, that the way you really feel loved, the love language you speak and need others to speak with you, is actually something you are most afraid to share? That if you are the person whose primary love language is physical touches, that you actually don´t let too many people come close to you? It`s like this protected area or something that you don`t want to share with too many people.
And finally the book says - meeting some bodies need for love is a choice I make each day. If I know his or her primary love language and choose to speak it, the people’s deepest emotional need will be met and he or she will feel secure in my love.
What is your primary love language? How can I love you the appropriate way? How can I love God?
10.3.09
Justification and Sanctification
Justification and sanctification are two closely related yet different concepts.
Justification refers to your status before God. When you placed your faith in Jesus, God the judge handed down the verdict that you are righteous. He transferred the perfect sinless record of Jesus to you. God completely and totally forgave you. He not only wiped away the record of your sin, He credited the righteousness of His Son to you.
Sanctification is a process - the process of becoming more like Christ, of growing in holyness. This process began the instant you were converted and will not end untill meet Jesus face to face. Through the work of the Spirit, through the power of His Word and through fellowship with other believers, God peels away our desire to sin, renews our minds and changes our lives. This ongoing work is what we call sanctification.
If you`ve truely been justified, you`re going to want to be sanctified too. You`re going to want to grow in holiness too. The person who has experienced God`s grace and has been genuinly converted can still choose to sin, but he can`t love sin like he used to. He can`t continue in sin indefinitely!
Have I been justified and sanctified? Have you?
